ISTA : a love letter
ISTA called to me like a lighthouse in a storm.
as soon as i entered the room, i knew a momentous chapter of my life had opened. there was something hanging around the facilitators, that lit them up. a halo of quiet power, lightness of being, and vast heart. they exuded competence and generosity.
by the end of the week, i was surrounded by radiant, glowing faces. it’s a feeling of awe that i find at the end of every container i’ve taken part in.
i came to ISTA because i was ready to play a bigger game - in my relating, in my path. i had no idea how to go about it, but to see “shamanic, sexual, spiritual” in the same sentence made me turn with relief to my first Level 1 - where i was giddy to find myself surrounded by such a diverse range of people with the same longing. i felt utterly safe. we shared the same commitment to truth, to curiosity and growth, to perhaps walking gently to places we hadn’t dared to before.
i emerged with a deep sense of belonging. with a solid toolkit that steers me through dynamics that would have previously have me simply run for the hills. it gave me a hundred tips and experiences to tune deeply into my truth, and to create more of the kind of connections i wanted. it melted my heart into deeper compassion, clarity, and excitement for a way of being together that i’d dreamed of, but never experienced.
in my previous experience of communities, a part of me always needed to be veiled, muted - my erotic nature, my spiritual connection, maybe simply my rage or grief. in ISTA i found a solid welcome for all of it, and that has impacted me in more ways than i can name.
i have kept returning to these spaces, because of this awe. i exit like one who has undertaken a pilgrimage, cradling the gold of sweet naked humanness. i have never really been to church, but i imagine this is how it is meant to make us feel - connected, held, open and grateful.
I have taken part in many ISTA trainings - with children, with a close family member, with lovers. i have nothing but gratitude and fire to show for it.
photo by the great Kate Flo Ní Mhurchú